Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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