I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
