someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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