from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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