I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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