The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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