Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
