I think im going to throw up on grandma
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
