Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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