Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
