i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
