I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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