I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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