My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Bring me that man meat
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
