WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
