It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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