my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dignity is for republicans.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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