we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
