he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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