ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
