we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
