and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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