She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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