oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
