my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
