She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
