is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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