Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
