***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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