Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
