They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
