All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
