I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
