woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
