I just pynch a tree in the face
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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