Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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