How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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