This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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