I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize