I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
