He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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