These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
