Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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