Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
