I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize