i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
