she woke up with a sticky ear
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize