You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
