Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
