How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
