No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
