Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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