If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
