Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
