What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My balls are so social today.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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