I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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