You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
