Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How naked do you want me to be?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
