this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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