I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
