Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
