vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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