Say something about gay babies.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize