3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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