pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
