he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
