Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
