Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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