Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
